Email to Stefan
[ excerpt ]
Man…
I wish I didn’t put you off coming by. I mean… it’s probably better, since my head is pounding at the moment, and my insides are still all gurgley…. and I’m all out of it and delirious still. see, and that’s sorta why. i know I’m loopy, and exhausted and out of it … i really just wanted to lay down with you and be snuggly and watch a movie and be my floppy self.
It didn’t seem entirely likely you’d want to do that… and i’m really useless for anything else right now.
I… I know everything is still a bit touchy. But gosh, I’d love to just be falling asleep pressed against you right now, while a movie played. Or even just while you sketched.
I can’t keep my head straight.
You… you are the most grounding thing. I mean, I know I’ve told you that you are the only person I’ve EVER been intimate with who made my brain quiet… with whom I was actually totally THERE and PRESENT in the moment and not drifting. I mean, that’s a statement of how important you are, those moments have been. They actually keep all of me totally engaged. You engulf me like nothing else can. But I was thinking about it. And…. even just sitting with you is …. it fills me. I draw so rarely when not in your presence, and I think that’s why. Just being WITH you is so… it busies all of my senses. Makes the constant barrage of world at me not matter so much, not seem so loud. Allows me to actually think and create.
It’s fabulous, really. Though…. it’d be nice if I could think straight and concentrate when i’m not with you.
Oh, I wish we were somewhere cozy where we could hear the rain on the roof above us. But I’m a head pounding fart monster who’d just flop on your lap.
…
if I got a big chunk of money… would you come away somewhere with me? Somewhere new
you’re right though… i imagine myself ending up back in NYC eventually. Unless something AMAZING happened. And then it would be ok.
If you find something later that you are listening or watching online…. let me know… so I can at least lay here all stupid and watch with you.
Or I’ll find something to watch for sleep time.
Email from Stefan
[ excerpt ]
I’m just drinking tea and eating toast. I feel a little groggy from not much sleep last night.
If YOU’RE watching something…send me the link. … I’m trying to find a lecture or something.
Back to drawing lazily. I’m trying to sketch characters and ideas with minimal effort. The automatic writing equivalent of my usual type of drawing. Hoping to spark some kind of mini revelation. I think I’m getting bored with my drawing. Maybe it;s time I simplify it a bit and focus whole heartedly on a comic.
Or…comics. Maybe, I should just start with the comics now. Anyway…I draw.
Email to Stefan
[ excerpt ]
Here, lets watch this: The_Raven
or something else there?
I have a fever.
IM me when you want to start watching.
(One of these days, I’m going to cover you with kisses. Because you are fabooo.)