We continue to text and talk on the phone a few times a week, I keep sending him links for assistance, for distraction.
January 2nd
Three days from the selfie in the last post…
December 24th, 2014 I posted a baby photo of my preemie self. [fb]
This brings Stefan to my old family scans and Fox Fest photos with babies.
[IG]
January 6th
Two weeks previous, I’d taken this selfie [IG]
the pose of which reminds him of this Sticky Friends photo. [flickr]
In the flickr feed right next to that Sticky Friends photo is this selfie I took in his car. [flickr]
He combines us. My toothpick becomes his. The blue color of my hat and the wave of the earflaps informs the coat and hood, the color of my skin and the background is replicated, the rearview mirror provides the shadow/halo effect around his hair and profile. [IG]
January 7th
email from me
I left my phone in an Uber car last night.
So if you’ve texted me and I’ve not responded, that’s the reason.
January 10th
Back to December of 2014. I’d posted a Batman action figure nativity [IG] which brings him back to the photo of a child with Superman. [flickr]
He combines the plant behind her with my shitty Gotham City background painting, and the eyes of Mister Freeze. [fb]
January 10th
To attend this year’s Fox Fest, it was arranged that I would travel from Brooklyn to Ocean Grove the day prior, spend the night in Ocean Grove, and then catch a ride with my Dad and brother to West Virginia that next morning. I had asked Stefan if he wanted to meet up with me there so we could have an evening of past fun. He claimed he couldn’t make it, for whatever reason.
Seven years prior, I’d been given a month and a half notice of being relocated from the apartment in the back of the family house in Ocean Grove and sent to live with my Aunt without discussion. My offers of rent money were refused, and I was told they needed one of the many available renters who had more money than I could offer. I was further given vague reasons that I didn’t keep the house clean enough, was disrespectful, and “it just wasn’t working out.” (I suspect this was due to the art that Stefan and I were making together in the house?) This was in spite of the fact that my Aunt, who was half owner of the house, supported my living there and tried to help me find a compromise to stay. I’d even been working on a website for the main house to find potential summer renters.
The apartment I’d lived in went uninhabited aside from the renter I’d found to fill my void that first summer, and the main house went mostly unrented since my departure.
I’d not been to Ocean Grove since my removal. Upon arriving, I had a full blown crying anxiety attack. I found the house that I’d been so carelessly evicted from in such a state of disarray that I lost my mind. The memories of feeling more safe and happy there than at any other time in my life combined with the lasting betrayal and heartbreak of my sudden dismissal hit me with ferocity. I sent Stefan photos, and called him in hyperventilating tears. He talked me down.
And so, here are a series of photos uploaded from my phone in August 2015. The state of the house in Ocean Grove, shoes to sell on ebay, views of Fox Fest, and nail polish.
The window scene with a tree and hills taken from Fox Fest photos, the tree with holes like the buckle shoes. The dress made from elements of the Ocean Grove house, shoes similar to those photographed, a hand gripping the knee, and looking out the window in sadness. [IG]
The half moon eyes and head shape from the back of the stereo, the cartoon shape of the hair from the arc of wires.
On December 31st of this year, I posted an image [IG] with the following caption:
So, I did this thing that shows you the most liked pictures of your Instagram, and all but one are pictures are of me with long flowing hair. It sort of grosses me out and so I spent the afternoon looking up new weird short hair ideas.
A week and a half later, Stefan posts this without explanation. [fb]
Three days later, I posted this [IG]
I wonder if he thought I was responding?
January 15th
Two months prior, holiday season. Thanksgiving. [IG]
Three days after, a repost of an old favorite photo. [IG]
Holidays and child me in a blue top with a white collar leads Stefan back to …
Christmas Eve birthday me in a blue top and white collar.
Christmas Eve me and the textured bamboo blinds behind my dad and I leads Stefan to also choose this photo of Christmas Eve me with grass cloth wallpaper behind me.
So Stefan combines two different years of me on my Christmas Eve birthday with a skull made of Thanksgiving tablecloth.
He initially posts only this much of the drawing [fb]
But years later posts the full drawing.
The lined background from the grasscloth wallpaper.
The same black tendrils from the negative space in the floral pattern.
January 26th
He follows that with a reposting of his Child-Eating Birthday Cake. [fb]
January 27th
The day prior, I’d posted a piece about the election that my boyfriend had made for Tshirts. [fb]
Stefan riffs off of this, using photos from the past year.
The ornate scrollwork inspired from the dollar bill in my boyfriend’s drawing, Ozzie cat with a suggestion of wings. [tumblr]
January 30th
Stefan posts a Sticky Friends photo without explanation. [fb]
February 2nd
The recent bulk upload to Flickr also includes me about to have a CAT scan, which leads him to when I had kidney stones in October of 2007, and Stefan brought me to the hospital.
He makes his drawing match the colors of my hospital gown photo, adds tank elements from my wrist cuff. [fb]
Also in the upload… a Bubble Tea brand to remember. The lettering on a red cup brings him to this photo I’d taken in 2015 of a truck with pink bubble lettering with a red building in the background.
Next to the truck in the flickr feed from November 30th 2015, are these phone uploads.
My chipped thumb nailpolish above makes for an ink splattered thumb. The truck graffiti makes the walleyed clown with it’s drips inspired collar ruffles. My relatives at an angle inspire the cartoon faces to the left, the portrait of Victor Borgia makes the distinguished looking chap. [fb]
The red of the paper cup makes for the blood and red nose; the pattern makes both the dollar sign and the thinky bubble.
February 5th
More photographs near each other and uploaded on November 30th.
The cake becomes the setting sun, the background of trees replicated in shape, the diagram of depth perception and my childhood photo combine to inspire the morbid weapon, my selfie with hand holding phone becomes the main character. [fb]
Uploaded on November 30th and December 1st, the boyfriend and I had gone to see Mastodon and Judas Priest. [fb]
My face with arched doorway behind provides inspire mouse ears, my bathroom pose used for the mouse, the colors of the lights for the stained glass, and the religious theme from Judas Priest.
The next morning still in Judas Priest makeup.
The wisps of hair, the almost eyepatch drawn in. My earring becomes drips. Posted months later [fb]
February 9th
February 9th, my phone auto uploads this photo, Ozzie and I with hands touching against a wood background.
Which reminds Stefan of us watching Cronenberg films sharing a TENS Unit:
June 12th 2008
email to Stefan
[ excerpt ]
I want… to take a photograph… of our hands reaching between each other’s fingers to get to the TENS knobs. because that moment stuck in my head and it makes me bite my lip.
email from Stefan
[ excerpt ]
….and…….that moment stuck with me too.
…..it was a special moment of overwhelming prettiness.
So Stefan posts a TENS unit in front of a wooden surface. [fb]
Also uploaded February 9th: the abandoned church near my Jersey City apartment.
This brings him to the photographs I’d taken in 2015 of the church that used to be the club Limelight.
He combines the once-Limelight photos with images taken that same week of 2015.
The gothic flourishes and bits of red from my photograph of what used to be Limelight, my selfies combined. [fb] [fb]
February 10th
Five days prior, February 5th, my phone autouploads a series of photos from a pool hall.
all the hands bring him back to this photograph of the Ocean Grove days. That ducttape arm was the first thing we ever made together.
He draws a series of hands, with some eyes inspired by the onion rings and ketchup cups, the dark blue vignette matching the coat worn at the pool hall. [IG]
He also uses this image, right below the pool hall in the feed.
The veins inspired by the folds of duct tape.
Ozzie cat atop the cabinets, surrounded by Christmas lights [IG]
brings Stefan to this photo from September 2015, a show with psychedelic lights
next to it in the feed, a photo of my foot I’d taken the same day.
He draws my foot dipping into water, making the same circle patterns as my kitchen Christmas lights. [IG]
Thinking of feet, he moves back to one of the photographs of my shoes I’d taken in August of the previous year (I never got around to selling them).
He then finds a photo from January 2014 of my wearing the same shoes on carpet.
Other photos auto-uploaded from my phone the same day in August:
The grid of the flooring duplicated combined with my pigeon toed pose of earlier. The grommets of the Duran Duran shirt inspire the spikes on the shoes, the lacing inspires the lace-up boot, the papaya guts become frills on a highheel. [fb]
Posted [fb]
with the caption:
“The original newborn before the one below.”
Recent facebook posts:
He redraws the same baby with different accoutrements. [fb]
February 12th
Images all auto-uploaded to flickr three days prior:
A news story recently posted to facebook:
Pistons through flesh, babies, ornate flourishes from the floor designs, sewing machine hardware out of sink parts, a shocked cat face. [tumblr]
Valentine’s Day
From looking at shoes posted the summer of 2015, Stefan comes to these, all uploaded June 23rd 2015:
At a smaller photo size, my canine teeth look wierdly long. Ozzie’s whiskers against my face becomes a calligraphic flourish of the S. The same line work is present in the background of Stefan’s ornate S as the line work in the comic book cover. The script at the bottom of the page becomes a scroll of indecipherable lettering. Yellow shadows match Ozzie’s eyes. [tumblr]
Captioned: “Happy Stefan Day. From me, a cat, and some shy lady behind my S.”
February 15th
Continuing with June 2015, these were uploaded June 26th 2015:
Lantern eyes. [tumblr]
He combines the different angles of ear from the guy in the background.
February 20th
February 9th. My severed hair laying on the floor is auto-uploaded, which brings Stefan to…
… an auto-upload selfie with a side ponytail taken in May of 2015.
Uploaded the same day in June 2015; this style inspiration photo I’d saved to my phone of dapper older ladies.
The stray piece of hair in my selfie gives the suggestion of jowls, which he includes in his drawing, the black square from the tile floor, the tight green curls from the older women, the small black buttons from the background of dots, the ruffles from the blue top, the dripping red blood from the color of lipstick. [tumblr]
February 23rd
Back to the bowling alley. Now two weeks apart.
The onion ring in hand looks to be shaped like a heart.
The woman’s face to the right becomes the clown face, the television in the background with white shapes jagged at the bottom inspires the crooked teeth, the cups of ketchup create the small hat and round red nose. [IG]
“Don’t throw away your valentines day candy boxes. Draw on them.”
February 26th
The hands eating fried food and ketchup bring him back to eating calamari with marinara sauce, our last Halloween again. He shows off his legitimately wounded hand.
Today’s theme is zombifying. [fb]
February 27th
My tagged photo folder. [fb]
Back at the bowling alley with WFMU people from two weeks prior. [fb]
A photo from the WFMU post-holiday party a month prior. [fb]
We become Tremors. [tumblr]
My eyepach and leather lapels inspire the sun and mountain background. My friend’s T-shirt graphic and zipper inspires the graboids, the font of TREMORS a combination of both fonts on his shirts.
March 2nd
Three months prior. [IG]
Orange and striped socks lead Stefan to this posted to Instagram March of the previous year [IG]
and then that color leads him to January [IG]
Deer with the red leaves and wall colors of my photos. [fb]
Riffing off of these auto-uploads again. (he doesn’t always post his art in order)
Her claws out, the swirl shape from the ornate mirror frame, the curled whiskers from my hair.
March 5th
Back to these group shots.
The expressions mostly from the men’s faces behind, the hat a combination of my mine with the bearded fellow’s plaid vest. [fb]
My zombie drawing and my photograph of Neil DeGrasse Tyson at the Museum of Natural History, next to each other in flickr.
[tumblr]
March 8th
My post one day prior [fb]
“Hey! If you call in to donate money to #WFMU right now, I might take your call! 1-800-989-9368!!!! Do it!!”
so because of that he was listening to WFMU too. The DJ played a track called Space Lady. [WFMU] So “Space Lady” is the theme.
Me, as taken by Stefan of us at the Museum of Natural history, summer of 2010.
(It says “SPACE” on the wall behind me.)
Also, this photo from when we went to a “Haunted House” held in a Laser Tag venue.
“Space Lady” also brings Stefan back to May 2010. A trip Stefan and I took to a graveyard.
And this nearby, from the drive to Fox Fest 2010.
More space! This image of my Junk Night finds, with a Blue Oyster Cult album cover which Stefan recognizes, showing space. [flickr]
(These being the full album covers:)
Another junk night find that same night: a volt meter.
The volt meter leads him back to this selfie I’d sent him in 2007.
His brain is a magical rolodex of composition, color, and reference.
Space Lady number one. [tumblr]
Streisand’s arm and hand.
Space Lady number two. [IG]
Streisand’s thighs and hips.
The volt meter inspires oxygen tanks with a lightening bolt.
My Space Lady.
March 12th
The head of my drawing on brown paper
leads Stefan to a pasta strainer hanging on the wall…
… of this photo of me from our last Halloween together.
So he turns to photographs of our last Halloween again, and adds them to the previous Space Lady reference photos.
Space Lady number three. [tumblr]
Composition from: the pasta strainer and microwave inspire the planets, the small triangle of white at the floor for grounded rocket.
The shine of the bangs on the painting behind me combined with the face of the pumpkin inspire the rocket.
March 13th
If I’m a Space Lady, why not a Frazetta Woman? Two self portraits next to each other from the Ocean Grove days.
It was a bit of an ongoing joke of sorts that I was built like a Frazetta girl. [tumblr]
Branches from the abstract print, details from the wallpaper border.
Strappy sandals from the stripey tights.
March 16th
A newly cropped version of a 90’s photo in my flickr.
He combines our features, and photographs his painting similarly angled with things stacked behind it. [tumblr]
April 26th
three pairs of wonky eyes like mine.
My photo posted July of 2015. He actually sent this drawing to my boyfriend.
April 27th
My new chronic hives, uploaded one month prior. He is reminded of this photo from 2007.
His background color matching my pillow, a yellow lid in the background matching my sheets, the red lips matching my own, and incorporating my hives. [fb]
May 15th
An album cover found in the WFMU record library uploaded February.
The similarity of the hair and hand placement of the album art reminds him of this older sketched out painting, so he now fills in the color, placing a hint of red and white stripes behind the painting. [fb]
May 18th
My poster photo uploaded exactly one month prior to Stefan posting his cartoon art for sale. [fb]
He arranges his images and the items on his desk to echo the composition and elements of the poster and the comic books keeping it flat. The shapes, the colors, the cartoon characters, the shortened legs and belt pattern, etc.
May 25th
My facial expression in this selfie from one week prior [IG]
leads Stefan to this auto-uploaded selfie from September 2015, and other similar shots.
This flyer for an art show I was in, also posted a week prior
leads Stefan back to his photo of my climbing a lamp post June 2007
and this shot taken the same night.
And posted the same week as the art show flyer, this photo of a drawing figure [IG] with it’s bent knee pose…
brings Stefan to this kitchen shot from October 2007.
and this shot taken the same night.
He throws in this January 2010 phone pic I’d sent him.
The garbage can provides the cocentric circles. [fb]
Stefan emailed me this in 2008:
…if I discover a rip in space and time, with or without any knowledge of where it may lead me……….I’m taking you wether you like it or not. …….you’ll be brushing your teeth before you lay down in darkness……..then my hand will come through a glowing purple slit behind you and i’ll yank you in and your tooth brush will be spinning mid air……..and where ever it goes……..magic candy land or intergalatic war zone………….i’ll make sure we find a place to set up shop. …..and that we’ll be okay.
The full email interaction is here.
June 14th
email from me
I’m about to crash, but I just wanted to let you know…
I’m sorry that my responses to your messages today were so brief. My hands have trouble typing on the phone. I’m much much better at the computer, using email or facebook.
You are always welcome to message me, and I’ll always read it.
I hope you are doing ok right now.
June 21st
June 26th
[IG]
“My best friend is gone. There’s no way to prepare for it. It just hurts.”
July 1st
I post a wall from the Jersey City Two Boots location with reference to Tony Clifton, Batman, and WFMU. [IG] Stefan posts an classic Batman logo Two weeks apart.
July 30th
I post mystery sushi. [fb] He crops a years old photo. [IG]
Two weeks apart. His caption: Swam like a fish in the Delaware river for 5 hours.
Those three lines.
August 26th
One month prior, I posted a scenic sky shot of Jersey City. [IG] The diagonal strings across the sky brings him to
… a 2007 photo of mine of Lodi, when stopping by visiting Stefan’s folks’ house. [flickr]
Stefan posts an image of Lodi, the same location, with fair regalia in the streets, an angled plant, and dramatic clouds in the distance.
August 29th
My autoupload. His one week later.
September 27th
A bunch of images on my flickr autouploads from one month prior.
which brings Stefan back to this photo from April 2015:
He merges them. [fb]
The boyfriend and I went to a Star Trek convention and got a photo with an actor who was currently on General Hospital. [fb] Stefan posts an adorable photo of himself with his brothers. [fb]
Three weeks apart.
November 3rd
Photos uploaded to flickr the same week in February 2016:
The wooden flooring behind my bruised knee brings Stefan to a photo of a dog I had in Bed Stuy 2006, with the same floor.
He riffs off a number of images from my [flickr] album of living in Bed Stuy Brooklyn, combining them with the images above.
My hat brim inspires Daisy Duck, my bruised knee vein provides a wounded knee, the chocolate logo becomes a trumpet, the the box of chocolates and hearts become a theme throughout. The jagged hearts inspire a chainsaw, my awkward camera hands holding it. Radioactive material inspires the E=MC2. [fb]
November 22nd
All these photos were auto-uploaded from my phone to flickr four days prior. My rage at sitting with my cane on the fucking floor of the PATH train and other recent photos is turned into POW Girl comics.
[fb]
[fb]
December 2nd
Photos uploaded to facebook/instagram November 23rd. [fb]
The ceiling inspires the MUST KILL splat, the record cover makes for the theme of the end of the world and the moon, the map dictates the grey color palette and boxy layout. [IG]
phone auto uploads from one month prior.
I become a Betty Boop cartoon. [IG]
He combines me and the Caution Slippery figure behind me into a ghostly Cab Calloway character.
The wrinkles and shadow of the plastic bag dictate the curves of the antennae, the curve of the antennae base from the curve of the trash can.
A photo of an ebay sale from August of this year. [fb]
The angles and the colors and the image quality, the tootsie roll pops lettering and the angled placement of the elements on the paper. [fb]
December 3rd
Again from from August of this year, all three next to each other [fb]
My King Crimson face combined with my Ozzie cat, using the hands of Mister Rogers in the first panel.
Auto uploads of August/September of this year. Photos of the downstairs apartment in my Jersey City building to show my boyfriend, selfies, etc.
The ornate apartment details inspire the furniture, etc etc.
December 8th
Continuing with images from September…
A recent reposting of an old childhood photo with a post of my ballsy interaction with Pharma Bro inspires a mech-suit kidsy me. The pastels of sunset through a screen, Schlitz lights, and ornate flooring inspires the complicated pattern and color palette of the suit. [fb]
The diagonal Schlitz logo for the diagonal bow in the hair, the chandelier makes the child head and hair, which is why it is left uncolored.
December 9th
Again, auto-uploaded to flickr four days prior, a photo of my boyfriend and I laying in bed.
which brings Stefan to a photo of he and I in bed.
The web pattern of the pillowcase inspires the pointiness of the tail, horns, tongue. [fb]
Myspace Messenger
May 31st, 2007
From Stefan
You are one of the only people i’ve ever known that i think understands the way my brain operates.
I hope you don’t turn out to be a figment of my imagination or something.
December 13th
December 14th
Two months apart. The colors match, he frames himself in a hallway, hands similarly positioned.
December 25th
Christmas Eve 2008
Christmas Day.
Same expression on his face.
December 26th
Stefan is reminded of my 2018 photography [flickr] while parked on a sketchy street.
His caption talks about the car, but he’s really photographing the trees. [fb] He has my photography stored in his head.
