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Most of the images on this page are from Stefan.
After my hard drive was stolen in the beginning of 2009, I had nothing remaining save for what I’d publicly uploaded to flickr, or still had saved in my photobucket. I asked Stefan for whatever images he might have saved over our first two years. What he sent was a collection of many random old photos, paintings, and drawings of his own amidst photographs of our collaborative stuff, but it was shrugged away as his having cluttered and disorganized folders.
That wasn’t true. Everything Stefan does artistically is with purpose.
The dates I’m using for these are the EXIF dates where available, or the date he emailed me.
The images of unknown date are from his sketchbooks that were scanned in for his website at the beginning of 2009. Some of these were originally drawn in 2007-2008 and then later inked, but I’ve tried to place them chronologically when originally drawn.
Some of these correlations may seem reaching, but given the patterns that become evident later, it all makes more sense in retrospect.
2004
March 14th
2006
September 1st
An empty ornate frame, taken a month before we’d met.
November 4th
We’d met only the once, but were chatting online. He riffs off my 2005-2006 gender confused self portraits.
November 24th
These stubbly faced self portraits from one month prior [flickr]
Leads him to this self portrait of 2006 [flickr] cutting off all my hair, hair clippings on my shoulders.
The green and the shorn head combined then lead him to this photo from Fox Fest 2005, a bald baby head in front of green hills.
He echoes my genderbending, my pose, the diagonal composition, and matches my colors with his lettering.
(the earring hanging down makes the tail of the Q)
2007
April 24th
April 19th, I post this [flickr] photo, it’s bright green and angles with bits of orange…
which leads Stefan to Halloween 2006.
For a new self portrait, merging the colors, themes, makeup, poses.
The headpiece, the blood drip becomes makeup design on the cheek. His shirt collar makes for a white mask instead of pink, the neon glow being the exact same shade as his background.
He uses details from the photos for his makeup designs.
This image also brings Stefan back to…
these green self portraits.
The building combined with my selfies
leads Stefan to this [flickr] photo of Mutual Friend, looking upward like green me, with a city scape of windows behind him.
My green series of faces in a row combined with the photo of Mutual Friend
lead him to this character equation I’d made.
He combines them all for a villainous self portrait.
Stefan has his hands close to the camera and wears a stripey scarf like Mutual Friend, wears a white ring to fill the space of the Starbucks lid.
But he chose that scarf to match the colors of Dr. Venture’s shirt and pocket pens. And is holding a cigar at his chin like a goatee.
And exposes his shoulder tattoo emulating the lines of the goatee and shirt collar.
He’s kept the makeup on, for both Venture’s glasses and my lipstick, and pulled the headband back to hide his hair. He combines our similar poses into one facial expression, pouty lips but slightly open, eyes peering to one side. Black background like me.
And he adds lettering.
May 3rd
I don’t know when following works were but painted, this is the date they were photographed. Though we were in daily online contact, we’d only seen each other in person twice, and had not yet hung out alone.
Another post hard drive theft image I received in 2009. He only sent me this cropped bit of the painting. Hiding me in plain sight.
But where’d he get the teeth?
An old selfie from photobucket.
and then to this photo for additional reference of similar hair and makeup.
This is what Stefan sent me, in skewed perspective.
He paints the skin the same sallow tones as my shitty disposable camera shot.
(I tried to compensate for the angle in photoshop.)
The lines of shadow on her throat become straps the painting woman is holding.
He only sent me this piece.
But in the background of this photograph, you can see the final painting.
This painting.
and the 90’s photos I’d used as reference:
So he crops his own older self portrait.
He adds a black border to his image like the frame of the mirror, and cuts the portrait in half, like my friend’s face is cut off in the mirror.
May 21st
This self portrait for the subject matter.
The lavender background leads him to this 2000 photo with lavender hair.
He looks to other 2004/2005 self portraits of similar discomfort.
Using the same green of my painting for the background, combing the hands and mouths of my art. The collar of my shirt becomes a kerchief.
A perspective adjusted version:
May 22nd
May 9th. Shirtless, the black rectangle of her top, and framed at the bottom of the photo.
April 22nd. Similarly framed.
Combined, those photos bring him to September 2006. With the black rectangle of camera in my hands, shirtless, but in a mirror.
He combines the poses.
Both of us in the mirror. His Pinocchio hanging like my TIE fighter,
but beside him like my friend is beside me.
Like me, he wears glasses, almost smiles, combines the arm/hand positions, combines the mirror placement. His camera visible like mine, but silver like the lamp in my mirror.
He tones his photo to match the warmth of my mirror photos. His shot in the bathroom like mine, and copies the angle of the mirror,
but crops his photo to include the hand soap like the lamp in mine, and a dark shape from behind the mirror.
may 26th
His photos on his second time visiting me. He spent his birthday with me.
Photos from May 1st in Manhattan.
The striped hoola hoop, and the black and white turning to one side
leads Stefan to this self portrait with striped socks,
and these surrounding photographs in a row, all in New York.
He combines them for a self portrait in DUMBO Brooklyn
He frames his shot so there is a square of space in the center.
But also makes it follow the lines of building.
He frames himself with a black square behind his head, like mine.
May 29th
2005 self portrait.
Again, he only sent me this piece of a drawing.
May **
Highschool sketchbook
Spring 2007.
A single piece of shell near a pacifier in the sand makes for a crying baby with one tooth.
The nose ring with pointed ends inspires the bird beak.
The shapes in the man’s sweater make for the shapes of an eyemask.
Checkerboard hat band and arrows under my name become cube-topped antennae.
90’s sketches
This face.
reminds him of this character in Legend.
so he grabs this picture saved in my photobucket.
This drawing paired with the pointed cowl of Legend…
leads him to me with pointy hair with my Coulrophobic Friend with flame colored hair like my drawing hair.
and to other squinty smiling me. 2001 socializing with similar hair.
and added smiles of childhood from nearby in the feed.
The lines of the glass beside his head inspire pumpkin lines.
He dresses me in the dark bride costume from Legend and gives me gargoyle fangs.
A bunch of old photos and art stuff all next to each other in my flickr feed from April 29th 2005.
Walking around the Ocean Grove / Asbury Park boardwalk with my little brother on May 28th [flickr]
leads Stefan to my Early Years [flickr] album, hanging on the Lake Mohawk boardwalk with my fellow teenagers in sunglasses. Uploaded the same day.
crosslegged teens all elbows and knees leads him to this highschool doodle page
next to my teen photos, a picture of trees in portugal.
The beams inspire the tree shape, combined with another old photo nearby in my flickr feed. The sunglasses make for wide googly eyes.
But why the flippy-do hair on the heads?
90’s doodling my lament for my old car, with a Yakko Warner figurine on the steering column, a smiley sticker on the steering wheel.
Stefan finds a 2005 photograph with a smiley face of sorts, my thumb making similar curves as the car.
and uses other photographs from Bayside Queens 2005. [flickr]
This still life of objects provides the basic composition.
Three pencil lines of circle become three eyelashes. Umbrella handle becomes cheek line.
Yakko head makes for wierd toed feet.
The umbrella borne of umbrella, scale needle, and demon wings, hence the veins.
This highschool drawing.
three old scanned photos from 2001, next to each other in flickr.
this 2001 photo nearby.
May 28th. This photo.
and this May 28th photo (the day after Stefan’s birthday) holding the presents I got him.
This as the basis.
T-shirt designs become creature face.
The bottle makes a moon, the torn edges of my brother’s hat make for wispy ears, my sunglasses make rectangularish eye sockets. A knife from the swords on Stefan’s shirt, my headband becomes a vertical axe wound.
faces combined, a cityscape made of glasses and bottles.
June 4th
My private writing detailing Stefan and I first using a TENS unit together.
June 17th
Just 13th. Old Mister Mangles on my head. [flickr]
Which leads him to March 2007. Next to each other in my flickr.
These blurry streaks of curved movement and pale blue green…
lead to this from June 2007.
these combined…
lead to this.
May **
My 90’s best friend and I.
beside it, this photo.
DATe **
This drawing by Jesse Wells in my highschool sketchbook
which brings Stefan to this [flickr] self portrait of mine from 2005, titled “halo”
which in turn leads Stefan to these photos taken by him in Asbury Park on June 19th
which combined lead to this [flickr] photo from Fox Fest 2005
the raised arm and rusty color leads him to my photobucket.
where I have people with signs, and a drawing of a demon lady.
Jesse’s sketch sets the theme and basic composition.
Date **
All from my photobucket;
my ex-girlfriend,
Farscape props,
two old drawings of mine.
a french 80’s cartoon.
He finds and adds his own reference from the same cartoon.
(this is the later inked version)
headphones become ears, the band becomes tusks.
The smaller mohawk frond for the man’s head on the bridge of the dog face.
June 8th
The family photos and paintings I think he referenced:
(documenting my uneven pupil size)
He uses the happy face, the headband hair, the uneven pupils.
The round shape with pink and tendrils from a wreath with pink ribbon, diagrams above the head like the math equations on the chalkboard of my painting.
The stripy weeble wobble is my sweater, my red hat becoming a ball floating above. The squigly lines around the circle become rigid bars when near this stripy weeble wobble. The diagonal floor behind me with a line of yellow like at the bottom of the article.
June 14th
June 8th [flickr]
June 14th [flickr]
combined, lead him back to this photo
and to this.
The fire hydrant inspires makeup shaped like a fire department shield.
My white mascara inspires the white outlines.
But why the flower and the background?
June 21st
A photograph I’d sent him, and his reinterpretation/response.
This one I knew. We like electricity.
He added a note [flickr] pointing out the abnormal pointer finger knuckle. I only now realize he’s added my kegelcisor to his hand. It isn’t a sex toy nor did I ever use it as such, but it’s the closest thing I owned to one. And it is stainless steel.
June 27th
June 26th. Mutual Friend, The Brother and friend attend an indie comic convention and afterparty in Manhattan.
These elements, plus COMICS,
leads Stefan back to this this 2002 [flickr] photo of me with comic book writer Neil Gaiman.
Neil Gaiman plus this ornate cake photo leads him to my WFMU poster.
The lines of book like the microphone, Gaiman’s fist, my red and yellow bracelets.
He combines the poses and clothing.
2007 sketchbook page of mine. An owl next to Stefan and I as… Thundercats?
The three figures, and Stefan with horns of hair leads Stefan to these photographs of 2001 bar antics.
They become a trio of horned owls.
Now the theme is owls. He finds this image, with an egg pictured in the Dali print in the background.
It becomes egg and owl.
Hair and forehead make for tree roots, the shirt becomes branch, teddy bear foot becomes owl.
June 30th
June 22nd. [flickr] He tells me to take a photograph of this car and he’ll pose like it’s his.
June 8th. [flickr]
The lips look pink, but that’s because he’s combined red and silver. He wouldn’t crop it off-center without reason. There’s circles of white at the corners of his lips, like headlights. Perspective of the car shot makes for a sneering mouth.
But why the car?
July 4th
June 26th.
At the indie comic con in Manhattan. [flickr]
July 1st.
My wounds from clawing at myself in my sleep. [flickr]
Mister Mangles died. [flickr]
these combined lead to..
September 2006. Bodega cat.
Combined for a new Stefan selfie. (cat scratch)
elbow and midrif in the same spot.
but positioned diagonally, to match this background
and bare skin like mine.
(Why are “Cheerios” blurred out?)
July 5th
July 2nd. a drawing. [flickr]
leads to dancing arm. May 1st. Manhattan.
combined with the nudity of my drawing, leads to these:
Originally emailed to me, then later scanned.
He told me this was based on my seagull photograph.
July 14th
I send Stefan silly phone pics
my Sandman statue is barely visible peeking in the corner
A 90’s photo of me with Sandman creator Neil Gaimain, with tiny Xray glasses peeking from the background.
My similarly smiling with a hat on and my Caulrophobic Friend in sunglasses
and other photos with her in that [flickr] album.
This photo from the same series, a friend sits on the floor, leaning on knees.
Beside him are boots.
My drawing, knelt on the ground wearing boots.
Stefan merges them all.
background becomes cup. Arm becomes straw.
Sunglasses merged with X-Ray glasses, the dots in the center of the X-ray glasses becomes her nose.
Hair made of hat brim, with curves like my drawing.
dark beads provide the filth of the teeth and shine of the lips.
Going through my old photos from 2000-2004
Originally emailed to me, later scanned for his website.
This is the basis of the composition:
not sure about these guys.
(originally emailed to me, then later scanned for his site)
old crappy doodles.
Photos from my photobucket. A woman I’d gone on two dates with in the 90’s. (She wouldn’t show affection in public for fear of outing herself.)
Stefan turns them into domestic violence bunny scenes.
Scribbly arm lines becomes trembling hair bow.
Water faucet becomes stripey tank top and cigarette, handle dictates the angle of the wooden flooring.
Lines behind head dictate rabbit ears. Rainbow tattoo for gayness.
Eyebrow becomes slicked back hair.
Lamp behind hat becomes flower.
(I literally never noticed before now that she was holding a gun.)
Date ??
My drawing. It provides the composition.
For reference he turns to my childhood….
which leads Stefan to this highschool drawing.
He draws bloody scenes of childhood horror on crumpled paper.
The white hat band from the white ribbon. The line of shadow behind my head following the line of spittle from the head.
July 15th
Four days prior, I post this. [flickr]
July 17th
(This I knew. My photograph was from one week prior.)
I never saw the finished painting.
July 22nd
July 17th.
which leads him back to this photo from 2005.
July 23rd. [flickr]
the plants around the grill combined with the orange of my self portrait leads Stefan to this from 2006 [flickr]
Stefan’s new self portrait, one of three taken while I was sleeping. He’s raising one shoulder slightly, and frames his photo off-center. Because it’s about my crooked spine.
The rake like the hard lines of the photo and the V of trees.
The rake is specifically placed there slightly askew, making a line from head to shoulder, to represent the light vs shadow on that side of my head and body.
This also leads him…
to my spine and other orange photos…
For another self portrait in the same room. Two of three.
and the paper towel around his waist for the flower pattern.
and another in the same room.
July 25th
July 16th.
Scanning in old photos and childhood art.
These combined, the white border, the standing figure behind vertical columns…
lead him to this old family photo.
and these combined, the pattern of my top, the white border, the child Christmas pose…
lead him to this photo of my mother.
Combined for new self portraits.
Portrait number one.
the crib, at the same angle.
hand raised next to angled post, wrist brace becomes hand puppet.
fencing in the background.
Hand copied, looking like it’s gripping the wood slats.
My makeup, my relatives head position.
Patterned rug with an angled element in the lower right.
bandaged limbs at the same angle.
mom and stuffed toy.
Portrait number two.
This stance, with the top of the body cut off.
These hand positions combined.
July 28th
Three days prior, I post this selfie, my soliosis evident. [flickr]
which leads Stefan to my spinal Xray composite.
He combines them. My Xray, and being all fours, so he posts his dog’s Xray.
July 30th
[flickr]
July **
July 2007. Self portraits, a photo Stefan took of my legs, and a photo of Brooklyn.
My arm leads him to the random arm on these 90’s sketchbook pages.
My smiling crying face leads him to this old family photo.
My middle part makes for a split in the skull with hair curls emerging with beams like power lines and detailing like the building facade.
My body is combined for the baby pose.
The bed frame explains the plank emerging from the top of the leg, my tears inspire the small globe atop it, my hair inspires the frayed lines that surround it.
My calf, with the painful patch of varicose veins.
2006 – July 25th 2007
Stefan had not been happy to hear I’d ridden on the above motorcycle with a highschool ex-boyfriend.
The horizon line is the same angle as the sidewalk behind the motorcycle, the planet the same spot as the circle on the brick wall, my brother’s nose, the neck strap is made of the same industrial metal I have in my hands, and I mean, a big FOX HEAD.
Also, my torn earlobe, not photographed.
This is that motorcycle highschool ex:
and the rest of the drums.
My highschool sketchbook.
November **
November 16th, these are uploaded.
These elements together…
lead to this highschool marching band photo with smoochie face, holding a horn, with bars behind them.
and to other marching band photos.
Generally.
Details.
He combines his hands and the surrounding elements for the claws.
August **
(still working on this one)
Sending Stefan phone pics from Fox Fest.
This photo from inside the lodge
leads Stefan to this 2005 [flickr] photo from Bed Stuy Brooklyn
and other photos from that location / time.
August **
This teenage doodle, misspelling “veins”.
A wing.
A small creature with a horn.
Below it, a dragon mouth.
This little girl from Fox Fest 2007 [flickr] is being given “horns”.
He adds another photo with her from 2007 for reference.
He adds these four images from Fox Fest 2006 [flickr]
to draw a maternal dragon scene.
She has a tiny horn starting to emerge.
August 21st
Fox Fest 2007. Uploaded the same day.
My kneeling
combined with these photos beside each other
reminds Stefan of this photo I took of him on his birthday with the presents I’d given him.
and this child’s arms
remind Stefan of the woman in the postcard he’s holding.
So he makes a new selfie at the wide aspect ratio of my child running photos.
he combines the pose and backgrounds, wood with a strip of white at his cheek…
August 3rd. Visiting Brooklyn.
The bridge reminds him of the tie…
…in this 2006 photo in the same self portrait [flickr] gallery.
Also August 3rd. [flickr] Brooklyn.
The black and white angle of her neck reminds him of this 2006 [flickr] self portrait
these together…
lead to this photo from 2006. [flickr]
He flips his eyelid, smears makeup on himself, wears a scarf around his neck and a bandage on his hand.
The shadow beside my nose gives the appearance of a trickle of blood. He combines the poses, matches his photograph to the exact color of the wall behind me.
My bandaged wrist, her silver wrist combined.
The square of white business card, the circle of belt, the circle of T-shirt design, combined in a rectangle of white hand and white round ring.
August 27th
He combines them. Tints it orange, like this year’s Fox Fest T-shirts.
september 6th
August 8th. Taking [flickr] photos of Stefan around Ocean Grove.
He combines the composition, the hat becoming the spotlight for his hands
September 8th
September 15th
August 23rd. [flickr] Fox Fest was very orange this year.
September 16th
I post this tweaked version of a self portrait on September 16th
I post these Fox Fest [flickr] photos on August 21st
He combines them for a selfie, matching the color to my own selfie.
He frames the seat cusion behind him like a life jacket. His knee is up and just barely visible, like my rowing cousin. He exposes his rose tattoo like the flowers on her top. He is in his folks’ back yard, beside the pool.
The planks of the dock are replicated in the wood of the fence. The metal edge of the dock and/or the oar are at an angle, he splits the difference with the pole behind him. grabs the wooden staff like my uncle.
Uploaded August 28th. [flickr] Next to each other.
which combined
lead Stefan to this photo of me and my first girlfriend.
This photo from the same time periond, uploaded the same day, beside it. [flickr]
He combines her profile and my three quarter pose for a selfie. [flickr]
he combines my modern photo backgrounds; his is white, with siding and a corner of window.
October 8th
More of the slew of images he’d sent to me after my hard drive died, with me not understanding why he’d sent his own works amongst our collaborative images. I thought these paintings were older? From art school?
My older paintings, childhood photos, photos with my BFFs from childhood and teen years, and my recent self-portraits.
He combines them all. Childhood me with the lips of 2007 me, the red halo inspired by my furry hat. The hands from photos of my best friends, the jewelry from the dance portrait, her black lace shawl inspiring the lace addition to the frame, my paintings providing the body horror and pastel color palette.
Me, as a child / best friend / broken person mashup.
November 14th
November 3rd.
The lines and hand lead him to this Sticky Friends photo from September. [flickr]
Combined leads to my sketchbook. window and lines.
Which leads him back to my recent selfie.
And in turn to this photo from 2001.
November ??
A recent sketchbook page of profiles.
November 16th I post my cry face in profile, hair long and black. [flickr]
which leads Stefan to faces in profile, me with a mohawk one year prior [flickr], and my Uncle Pete proposing to Aunt Kay.
Uncle Pete combined with my grainy orangey cryface
leads Stefan to his own profile in grainy orange [flickr].
(This was our second time in Ocean Grove together, our first time taking photographs.)
His orange face and my orange face, combined with and uncle and aunt together
leads him to this photo he took of us in October.
And so he combines us all into the first official Sticky Friends picture.
with this comic book cover art.
He combines their faces. Toothpick becomes cigarette.
He replicates his hair curls, lets the top of his hair wild from getting lost in the foliage.
He combines the sketch lines with the tinsel.
His front hair curl also follows the path of branches.
He combines our profiles. He uses the shape of the Christmas ornament next to Aunt Kay to make a line in my ear..
The shadow behind her head, the curls of her hair, the curve of her figure becomes a wisps of smoke, the masking tape hitting the same line as her sleeve.
November 20th
A chat about our church of escapism.
November **
mid 90’s sketcbook self portrait:
His photo of us in hats.
and my self portrait in November. [flickr]
He combines our faces.
But why an eyepatch? I had never worn an eyepatch before at that point. And why a rectangular one at that?
Because this is the page in my highschool sketchbook preceding my self sketch:
a rectangle with an eye in it.
I drew Stefan wearing a hat visiting me in Ocean Grove. He had a van he referred to as a dragon.
He uses his own flickr uploads in August and September; the photos he took of Ocean Grove while I slept, right beside his older cartoon drawing with a character in a similar hat.
He draws himself as a turtle, taking off his hat, visiting me in Ocean Grove with a similarly round and cartoonish car in the background.
He keeps the triangle shape near his head as a heart, the rectangular shape in the center of the rake becomes a shine on the heart. The turtle’s hair like the rake tines.